This and That: Flu Edition

April 30, 2006
  • My son's school is a five minute drive from our house. We counted the number of speed bumps on the way there. We counted seventeen. Seventeen! Do we really need THAT many speed bumps to slow us down?
  • One of the Arab (non-Kuwaiti) staff at my son's school had on skin-tight, skin-colored lycra pants that went at least two inches up her bum. I can't even imagine having that much bum. I don't want to come off as a prudish frumpy mother who is jealous so I keep my mouth shut but I still find it totally unacceptable to dress that way in a school with elementary children.
  • The other day, a black pigeon with bright red feet sat perched outside my son's window and stared at us while I was getting my son ready to go out to eat. My husband walked in. and I said, "Look at that pigeon." "Wow, it's beautiful but she's lost and hungry." "It's an omen." "Don't be silly." A few minutes later we came downstairs and my husband went to start the car. The pigeon was on top of the car, and my husband said, "See? She thinks she's at a lake or something, trying to drink from the reflection." He went inside and got a bowl and filled up with water. I took it and carefully approached the black pigeon, who was still on top of our car. As I was putting the bowl down on the ground, the pigeon flew down and drank from the bowl as I was still holding it. It was a very cool thing. The next day I had the flu.
  • I have a live-in maid again, an Ethiopian who speaks Arabic (two years experience in Lebanon) and English, can cook Lebanese food, is friendly and has a good disposition, and all I can think about is the day she'll leave so I can have my privacy back. My definition of bliss is having a part-time maid who comes in and cleans, then leaves. And if I have to hear about how great Lebanon is and how badly Kuwait sucks, I think I'll be blissful sooner than later.
  • I sat through an entire episode of the Tyra Banks Show the other day. It was like watching a Saturday Night Live parody of Oprah. I listened to her talk about how she paved the way for countless black models and how difficult she had it because she was black and not white and I was like, are you serious? Blue eyes, a long blonde weave, light skin, perfect boobs – how hard could it have been? You want to talk about paving the way, I think Beverly Johnson is more qualified to say something like that.
  • We went to eat at Applebees the other day and as I was waiting for my husband, I saw two very geeky American guys walk in, and when asked by the hostess whether they wanted to sit in the smoking or non-smoking section, one of them said, "Non-smoking", and the other, geekier looking one said in an almost creepy way, "Depends on what you're smoking." Hardy har-har. In the words of Richard Bey, I can't help but scream out "Where do they find these people?!?!" when I see some of my compatriots. (And no, I'm not perfect, so let's not go there.)
  • My daughter can say "mama", "daddy" and "banana". Everything else sounds like the Swedish Chef from the Muppets. "Dishdishdishderrrr, derrr thr."
  • A young American couple started renting a house nearby and whenever they walk their dog, they bring along a plastic bag and a pooper-scooper. I think that's fantastic.
  • Right. As I was writing this, my daughter broke the CD-Rom. Ta-ta.

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